let us never forget that the human race with technology is like an alcoholic with a barrel of wine
~ Ted Kaczynski ~

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The Creator of the BEAN d2 RPG needs our help:

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

Oh What A Night
by Paul Ingrassia

A steady beeping woke Francine, and it made her head feel like a pounding bass drum.

“What a freakin’ night,” she tried sitting up, but met with resistance.

Her eyes snapped open, but it took a moment for her vision to clear. Slowly, a small room with stark white walls and no windows or doors came into perspective. Francine saw she was strapped to a gurney, naked, and her belly was swollen. She realized the sound was coming from a monitor she was connected to. Otherwise, the room was barren.

“Where the hell am I?” she screamed. Her only answer was the pinging monitor.

“What happened last night? What’s wrong with my stomach?” Confusion turned to panic.

“Okay Francine, calm down, you’ve gotta think this through. I went to see the Misfits with Stacy, and we met those two hot guys. After the concert, we went back to their place to party. God, I got so wasted. Then what happened? Wait, that’s right, I went into the bedroom with the big guy to make out. Yes, I… I remember! He started tearing my clothes off, I tried to stop him, but he was so forceful. It hurt when he took me, so I started screaming for Stacy, but he wouldn’t stop. So I… holy shit! What did I do? NO! I bashed his head in with that ashtray. Oh my God, I hope I didn’t kill him!”

Sweat beaded across her body and she started shivering. Then, she felt a strange sensation in her belly, as if something were moving around inside her.

“What the hell is going on! Stacy! Stacy, where are you?”

There was a sudden whooshing sound as one of the walls slid open, then Stacy, wearing a white lab coat, stepped in.

“Stacy, what is going on? Why are you wearing that coat?”

“Francine, I am not who you think I am.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am a scientist from the planet you call Mars. You have been selected for an extremely important experiment.”

“What the hell are you talking about? We’ve been friends for six years. For Christ’s sake, we even slept together!”

“As I said, you were selected. It was my job to make certain you would be a suitable host, and that included making sure you could handle rough intercourse. The males of our species are quite ferocious, so impregnation can be painful.”

“Impregnation? Oh my God, are you saying I am having an alien baby!?!”

“What I am saying is you have the honor of being the first host to carry a Martian-Human hybrid child.” Stacy began preparing a syringe. “You will be giving birth momentarily.”

“It only happened last night…”

“Actually, it happened thirty days ago, you have been under sedation. The gestation cycle is complete, the time has come. It is a shame you will not witness the historic moment.”

“What do you mean?”

“A tribunal decided you must be executed for the crime of killing our breeding stud. He was only a teenager. I am sorry, but you will be euthanized after the birth. You will never see your child,” she inserted the needle into Francine’s arm. “Goodbye, Francine.”

“Stacy, please, no! Please, help me, don’t… do this… please… Stacy…”

Francine’s vision faded to black.

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